Seligman has a great take on disputing the way we interpret and internalize failures. Our ability to take a step back from them and replace an original self deprecating interpretation about ourselves with something more empowering is crucial.
Check out Ryan Holiday’s take which is somewhat similar:
“What we need to see is that we are not failures, we’re just experiencing failure. We need to embody what’s come to be known as the Stockdale Paradox, based on the philosopher soldier James Stockdale, who spent seven years in a North Vietnamese prison camp. On the one hand, to survive such an ordeal you must have deep faith in yourself and your ability to persevere. On the other, you must be realistic about your situation and surroundings. False hope is not your friend; like ego, it betrays you in the toughest moments.”
Next time you bump up against a perceived ‘failure’ try and catch it before it catches you.
In other words, sure you gonna experience a set back (but who isn’t?). Once and when you do, try and become aware of how you relate to it.
Are you throwing yourself into the mix or seeing it for what it is…temporary, specific, and external.
If you can do that, you can throw it off.
They’ll come again in other forms and you’ll be ready.
Your failures do not define your capacity or potential.
You do...at all times and in all places.