I had a conversation one morning with someone who proclaimed they had it figured out. I said nothing and just listened.
They then described how they were going to leave their current career and pursue a new one in the next few months.
I still said nothing.
Looking at me and waiting for a response, I looked up and smiled and simply said ‘no amount of approval or disapproval from anyone outside of you is going to give you the answer'.
Here is how Millman put’s it.
“Your major battles with fear are not outside you; they lurk inside, in the caverns of the psyche, in the arena of psychological survival and dark imaginings, where fear shape-shifts into subtle guises such as self-doubt, insecurity, lack of confidence, shyness, inhibition, timidity—a reluctance to assert, express, or even be yourself. Whatever form fear takes, your willingness to face it squarely will determine your fate in the high country of human potential.”
Feedback from other’s is good, whether positive, constructive, critical, encouraging, supportive, cautious, fearful… and the list goes on.
Yet feedback alone from other’s in the absence of looking at your potential squarely in the face misses the boat.
We all need encouragement and all that, sure. But do the inner work required to figure out what’s currently holding you back from your own potential right now.
Answer this repeatedly and let the approval or disapproval + feedback be both an internal and external venture.
You’ve got a mind on you. Use it.
No one else can do your thinking for you.